Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Ooh. I'm so lonely. No one ever emails me. No one ever calls me. No one ever visits my door. No beautiful women cast significant glances my way or have random sexual encounters with me in the laundry room (which is probably for the better, because my washer and dryer is in my kitchen). Alas.

So it's been three whole months since I've done this blog shit, and I have to say "Oh well." I never really cared in the first place, and it was just something to alleviate the boredom of summer vacation. Now it is alleviating the boredom of winter vacation. Go figure.

It's the new year! Yay. I went down to the docks in Annapolis (I did not return to my native land of Seattle for the holidays, alas) last night and watched people congregate. It was interesting. I acted like one of those freaky objective people who don't really feel connected to the people around them but find them interesting and amusing in a demeaned way. Sociopath, maybe. It was fun, though. My neighbor invited me into her house quite randomly where she was throwing a party and I had to decline, for fear of my moral integrity, for fear of alcohol, or for fear of strangers? I think the latter is probably the case. Still, it was very cordial of her and I'll have to repay the compliment sometime by having sex with her.

I should point out that I began the year living in an apartment on the cheaper side with a couple of guys whom I considered friends. Things changed and I had to move out. I'm getting along with them now once more, but there was a time when I almost threw one of them out the window (we lived on the fifth floor). My new house is great, probably because I share it with two girls. I should mention that my plan to be very gay this year has failed miserably and instead I've wandered around lovesick all semestre. But I think this is a good year for being heartsick, since softomore year is often described as the easiest. I'm caught in an imaginary love triangle now. It's purely in my head, and basically it involves being in love with three women at once. I think it will all work out for the best in the end. In fact, the worst thing that could happen is that I'll be left in the same state I am now, which is unattached. The best thing that could happen is menage-a-cinq, although that's about as likely as a three legged turtle crossing the interstate unscathed.

Anyway, like I said, my new house is great. My two room mates are at the opposite ends of the spectrum from my last two, as far as niceness.

I want to get married. Which is pathetic, I know, but sometimes it's nice to think about someone whom you can spend your whole life with. Someone who will comfort you when you wake up from a nightmare in the dead of night, and give you handjobs before breakfast.

People have been bitching my out endlessly about not updating my blog. I don't feel bad though. I might start doing it again if I have time. It's hard to feel motivated to be here, though, and in fact the only reason I am is because I'm not motivated enough to do anything else. Well, actually, I've got motivation up the ass (yum), but I had to check my email. But no one emailed me. And no one ever calls me either.

Anyway, I miss everyone. I miss my family and my friends and my pets. I don't miss myself anymore. I had a bizarre identity crisis a few weeks ago and it lasted for a while, but I emerged from it victorious and have been on a spectacular high since then. For the first time in a year I've been feeling very comfortable being myself, and I've started writing again.

I've also been cleaning my house, which I have to get back to. My dishes are starting to pile up.

The Zen proverb for today is: Train your mind like a monk and your body like a beast.