Saturday, June 15, 2002

I'm rereading yesterday's paragraph and a grammar mistake flashes out at me, but then I notice that the past tense for "split" is the same as the present tense for "split," which annoys the fuck out of me. Maybe it ought to be "splat" or "sploot," or at least "splitted."

Health News: I have a weird cut high on my forehead that I must have got while I was sleeping. I recall hitting my head on the table next to my bed (which is really quite an accomplishment, if you try and imagine it happening) a couple nights ago, but it didn't seem that hard. This damned cut on my forearm from stacking lumber stings but is not infected, and it refuses to heal. Maybe if I could convince a bandaid to stay glued for more than a day... I found out from a personal friend of mine, a very famous doctor, as well, that my blood sugar ought to be even lower than I've been trying to keep it all these years. The ideal range is about 90 parts/decaliter, but my doctors have always urged me to shoot for 120 p/p. This pisses me off to no end, and 90 is a much narrower target to aim for. I'm trying to figure out how it could be done, and the only way I see is very, very, very, very close regulation of diet and exercise. Which sucks, by the way. Acne still acting up, considering changing soaps.

My paycheck from Starbucks finally arrived! Yay, motherfuckers. I owe some people money, though, since I've lived off loans for the last couple of weeks. I need more work, damnit... Speaking of which, I have to go now. Fuck off, assholes.

Thursday, June 13, 2002

So yesterday was the worstest day ever. Bridget came to town with her friend Jim, and we found Kerne and all hung out. Yay! right? Wrong. First, they lock their keys out of their car like a bunch of assholes. Then we spend the entire day (after getting their keys back, I mean) driving through rush hour traffic so those dorks can buy baseball tickets. So then we split up, never to see one another again, and I intended to drive Kerne home, but of course, my car broke down. Then he took the bus and ditched me. So I spent a few hours alone until I got my car started and then when I got home I found a letter from my girlfriend, saying that she'd been having an affair through the mail with someone else. Then my mom accused me of not really wanting to go back to St. John's because I haven't found the time to call any of the classified want adds to apply for another job (since I technically have only two at the moment). Then my dog died and I got leukemia. Sucks, huh?

It's hard to be bitter, though, when my life is so much better than a lot of other peoples. I was reminded a lot of a conversation we had yesterday about what it means to call someone fat. I got up this morning to go jogging (four miles, in a sweat suit, 90 degree weather outside. I almost screamed the word "Intensity!" at another guy and would have given him a high five, but he was already looking at me like a lunatic). There were a lot of fat people on bicycles. Now, Bridget and Jim got on my case about the use of the word fat and insisted that some people weren't fat, but were really just naturally shaped the way they're shaped. I still don't buy this, though. I think of it like this: a human body has functions, and among those functions one is locomotion. If a body is incapable of running, which I don't think anyone would deny is a natural function of the human body, then that body must be unnatural, or simply badly cared for. So people who are big and fat, being consequently incapable of suspended running, are unnatural. Furthermore, if you look at countries where the people aren't able to afford McDonalds and Ice Cream every day, and don't have the leisure of television or books, you won't see very many fat people. Stocky people, maybe, and your occasional rich fat ass, but the natural form of the human body seems to me to be a well-developed, equall proportioned body, a lot like mine, in fact.

Now for movie reviews:

Fatso - A touching 1956-or-so comedy about a fat ass and his quest to lose weight, ending endearingly in romance. But he never gets thin, and this movie is evil because it promotes the idea of being happy and indulgent at the same time.

Thinner - A really lame Stephen King-based movie about a really fat guy who gets a gypsy curse and consequently starts to lose weight unrealistically. Really really dumb. I wonder if I reviewed this movie already?

Hook - A delightful Robin Williams family comedy, based on the tales of Peter Pan, about Peter's return to Never Never Land as an amnesic adult business lawyer. This movie is great, except for this fat, black kid who is portrayed as a happy-go-lucky youth who uses his superior weight to bowl his opponents over. This movie seems to say, like so many others, that a person can be happy despite obesity. But then, if you look deeper, you realize that all this happens in Never Never Land, and the true meaning of fatboy's happiness is seen.

I've run out of steam for movie reviews now.

Health News: Ran/walked about 4 miles today wearing a sweat suit in 90 degree weather. Felt psychotic and loved it, will do it again. Knee hurt, but my knees always hurt for some reason. Probably 'cause I'm a freak. Wrist wound not healing well, but we diabetics heal slowly. I have a faint scar on my side, about six inches long, from a tree branch during Reality Weekend at St. John's. I suck.

Must eat lunch now. Sick of being asshole on line, though now feeling very relieved. Oh yeah, I saw a chick who looked like Cecily down on the trail and I freaked out for a couple of minutes. I hate it when I do that. But it happens to me all the time... I guess chicks freak me out.

I've been thinking about saying that I'm gay, but since I'm actually not, I can just deny every suitor who ever comes for me. In this way, I'll never have to worry about that weird tension that always comes up between guys and girls, that electricity that hangs in the air that says "If we were dogs we'd be fucking, baby!" Instead, I can simply live my life comfortably without having to worry about dating or sex ever again, and the only chicks who would bother me would be the ones who either want me because I'm gay ('cause we all know women are generally attracted to guys who are gay) or who don't want me at all.
Of course, it's one thing to come up with a plan to avoid satisfying the libido, but it would be nice to get rid of it all around. I can't wait until I'm like 90 years old and don't even want to think about sex anymore. Then again, my dad is like 60 now and he seems to think about it alot... oh sigh.

Food time, now.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Yes, I totally rock!

Sports News: Just got done fencing for about five hours. This is a normal routine for me on Thursdays and Tuesdays (I got that in the wrong order, I think). I'm tired now, and very hungry. But there is no food and everything is closed. Perhaps I will go to Burger King and eat a garden burger. That would be just the thing to compliment this evening's work out: fast food! Normally, Howard and I go out to Chinese or Japanese food, but we also tend to fence really late and often have a hard time getting to our favorite Jap restaurant before it closes. That's right, I said the word "Jap." This is my website and I can write whatever I want. Maybe I'll make an abbreviation here or there that might seem offensive, but it's just me being lazy. So fuck you.

I'd just like to give a shout out to all my peeps who are reading this crap. I think it's funny that I'm taking up your time, but I love ya anyway. Especially if you're a hot chick. Or if your name is Cecily. Then you totally rock. And provided you attend St. John's College, Annapolis campus, we can even have sex (note "chick" qualifier).

Health News: Hungry. Almost had seizure while driving. It's very dangerous to be diabetic and a driver, which is why I want a chaffeur someday when I'm rich. I think the cuts on my forearm might be infected. I won't worry about it unless it looks serious though. My toe is almost fully healed and there are no signs of infection, for which I'm thankful. Whatever I had that looked like herpes has pretty much disappeared entirely and I'm very happy that it does not seem to be coming back. I've been sleeping in way too late way too much, and am considering an early morning exercise routine to get myself back on track. Either that or an early morning job.

Music News: Just listened to some Noise music. Didn't like it much. But KEXP still kicks ass. WWW.KEXP.ORG

Today I took my dog down to a local park and walked him around. It was a really nice day, by the way. I found some really good quiet spots for just sitting on my ass and reading, and it occurred to me that I should make it a habit to go down to the park on sunny days with my dog and watch chicks or read Aristotle. Whichever is better for my soul at the moment (moderation being essential to all things). There's also a (the) trail for runners and bikers there, which would be good for me to use. I haven't run much lately, and I need to improve my endurance because I'm sick of being winded during a fencing bout. By the way, if any of you do not know, I'm a total ass kicker with a fake sword. Just thought I ought to put that out there.

Anyway, I want to see Undercover Brother, and then I'll do a review of it. Meanwhile, I watched a fabulous movie on the Independent Film Channel this morning, called "A Business Affair." A truly top notch film about a woman's romance with a publisher and her writing career, and her dead marriage with a famous writer, and all this crazy crap that ends sweetly. I give it five out five stars, personally, and recommend you all watch it. Right after you see The Howling and Conan the Barbarian.

Oh, did I ever review Conan? God, I can't believe I forgot.

Conan the Barbarian: By far, my favorite movie of all time, and certainly one of the best. Arnold Schwartznegger's finest performance, simply because he has almost no lines. Actually, his finest performance was in Terminator, where he had about two lines in his role as the evil Terminator. But what makes Conan the Barbarian a fantastic, masterpiece of cinema is the plot, the action sequences, and essentially the fact that it is the most entertaining movie of all time. That's what movies are for, after all: entertainment. Those other movies that have meaning and depth aren't movies, those are films. Anyway, see this movie before you see any other, and you will understand what I mean.

I'm going to get food. Fuck ya'll, I'm out.
Alright, I officially hate Blogspot. It seems my post from yesterday isn't up yet. I'm going to do a random test post (which you, like an asshole, are reading for some reason) to see if that kicks things into gear.

Monday, June 10, 2002

Aother day, another dollar. I haven't gotten a paycheck from Starbucks for the entire time I've worked for them so far this summer, which means since May 15th. Kinda sucks. I'll get one on Wednesday, they tell me.

Music News: Bob Marley is cool, but I really love this punk band's cover of "No Woman, No Cry" that I downloaded a few months ago. I also heard a new song by Seattle band Pedro the Lion, called Paramedics and Priests. It was awesome. I think I'm glad to be from Seattle, 'cause I get to be around really good music all the time. Speaking of which, I should do a plug for KEXP. KEXP is the most awesome radio station in the country (literally). You can listen to it online at www.KEXP.org. Josh Kazman does, and he recommends it highly.

Movie News: You know, it's kind of sad how the pornography industry has lost all of its integrity since the 1970s or so. Back in the golden age, they made feature length movies with a good story and lots of really *erotic* sex scenes, but nowadays you just have a lot of random fucking on screen. It's kind of sad. With that, some reviews:

Emanuelle: A classic porno from some Latin speaking country, I think either Spain or somewhere in northern South America. There's a few different Emanuelle movies and most of them are simply called Emanuelle, but they're all really good. Mostly about a woman's quest for liberation, which I wholeheartedly support.

Shakespeare in Love: A movie that should have been titled "Shakespeare Fucking" or "Shakespeare in Bed," this porno somehow made it to the Oscars for Best Picture and a heap of other awards. A sign of hope for future pornos, I think.

Debby Does Dallas: A porno I've never seen, but one that is often revered as a masterpiece. I'm not sure if I spelled the title right. A must see, and on my list for future pornographic experiences.

Titanic: Another sign of hope for future pornos, this cheesy little satire on "real" movies was mistakenly given the Oscar for best picture. Of course, the pornographers behind it knew better and simply let the irony sink in (pun intended) by accepting the award. This movie has two bonus scenes: A really hot chick gets naked and steamy in a Rolls Royce, and Leondardo DeCrapio drowns at the end. I know there are lots of people out there who can get off to nice cars and Leonardo DeCrapio dying any day, and it's nice to see a porno that tries to embrace a lot of tastes.

Health News: I discovered today that my hair is long enough that I can tuck it behind my ears to keep it out of my eyes. This means no more hair gel, and I'm very excited. I no longer need to worry about a hat at work, either.

Sports News: Will start training daily with my friend Howard Huang soon, who will be finishing his finals this week. Long days of extreme fencing ahead!

Sunday, June 09, 2002

A few days ago, my dad asked me about the value of my education at St. John's and forced me start wondering what I would do for a living after I graduate. What can this education buy me? essentially. Just now I was thinking that it would be nice to be a donkey racer, like a horse racer, only with donkeys, get it? That way, I could have little business cards that would read:
Blake Kiltoff, professional Ass Jockey.

Ha ha ha.

We had a family reunion today. It was nice to see relatives again. Not much happened. Then I went to work and not much happened. But then after work, I drove a co-worker home and I discovered that she's taking the same Aesthetics Philosophy course I took last year at a local community college, from the same professor. That was cool. We talked about Plato a little. It's nice to find people who should be Johnnies but aren't. Pseudo-Johnnies are like NutraSweet... different, but just as good as the real thing.

At one point I explained to her my reasons for being a vegetarian. The logical argument seems to me to work, but I'm going to write it down here and hopefully someone will tell me I'm not full of shit:

It is necessary to eat in order to survive. However, it is not necessary to eat meat if you live in countries like America, which are rich in natural resources. So eating meat is not necessary for my survival. Since eating meat makes me complicit in the act of killing the animal, my consumption of the meat necessitates the animal's death, and since my consumption of meat is unnecessary, I am complicit in an unnecessary act of killing (if the animal were a human this would be called murder). Therefore, the desire to eat meat is a desire to be complicit in an unnecessary act of killing, which is evil, and a desire for evil things is evil. So the desire to eat meat is evil and should be denied.

The only flaw I see in my argument is in the statement that the desire for unnecessary killing is evil, for one might argue that killing of animals is not evil no matter what (I think Descartes was really into that notion). But that gets into too many questions of spirituality and faith to go into here, and no one cares anyway.

Now for ironic movie reviews:
1) Silence of the Lambs - A gruesome thriller with the classic performance of Oliver Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter, the insane cannibal doctor. A truly wonderful film, an interesting mystery, and quite suspenseful.
2) Ravenous - A well told tale of survival in the Rocky Mountains, about an officer in the US army sent from the Mexican front to an outpost in the rockies, where he meets a deranged "survivor" of a lost group of frontiersmen. He soon learns, firsthand, of the horrible powers unleashed by eating the flesh of another man. This movie features an awesome soundtrack and a great story that is truly quite entertaining.
3) Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Perhaps one of the most under rated horror movies of all time, and certainly one of the least gory while still being the most gruesome. The film contains less blood than your average episode of Oprah (which means that all the bleeding occurs monthly, as I understand things), but it is definitely well done for the cost it was made. A movie beyond description, except to say that it takes place in a deranged household, not far from where they slaughter cows.

Anyway, I've run out of movies that, off the top of my head, feature the murdering of animals or meat eating as a key point.

Health News: This morning in the shower I noticed that I clipped my toenails too short and they hurt like hell. God damnit. I replaced my bandaids at work, finally. Acne is still refusing to go away.

Literary News: I'm reading "The Sun Also Rises" by Ernest Hemingway and am at the part where they talk about bull fights. I want to see a bull fight now, and perhaps someday I will pursue my childhood dream of being a bull fighter.

And now, since I am tired, I will leave thee.