Saturday, June 08, 2002

I got up this morning to find a classified add on the living room table left for me by my mom. She had circled an advertisement for help wanted selling newspaper subscriptions door to door for at least $12 an hour. Now, that's a shit load of money. That's $240 a week if I work every day for at least four hours, which is what they advertised for. BUT I would be selling people newspapers door to door, interrupting them at dinner, during their movies, etc. I would be a telemarketer in person, that is to say, an asshole! How in the world could I sell newspaper subscriptions while feeling guilty for trying to at the same time?

Health News: The bandaid binding my wrist injury came loose in the shower this morning and I can't replace it because we don't have bandaids. We have too few cuts too infrequently to justify the cost of buying bandaids, I think. So now it's just hanging there off my wrist from the one part that is still sticky, and if I put my MedicAlert bracelet around it, it will stay. Also, after I took a shower this morning I clipped my toenails in order to avoid any more injuries to my toes. I should mention that on Tuesday this last week, after fencing for about four hours, I noticed a small painful cut on my left, second-large toe, that was apparently from the nail of the third large toe. This is a problem for diabetics like me, because foot injuries are easy to become infected and turn to gangreen. And finally, another one of the blisters on my hand (all of which I got from digging post holes out at my dad's place) peeled this morning, quite to my satisfication.

We have a family gathering here tomorrow. I haven't seen most of my family for about a year and a half or two years, even. I'm not particularly pained by this, but it will still be nice to see them. Even though my uncle and my mom have "weirdness" between them, they're all interesting people, and it will be nice to see how my cousins have turned out. I have to work with my mom at cleaning out this hellish house so that our family doesn't despair over our pathetic conditions. Either that, or we're cleaning so that we aren't embarassed.
Well, today I finally worked up the guts to ask my mom to cancel the cable television service. I decided that since it was destroying my soul and I was unable to avoid cable movies by sheer will power, I would have to remove the outside source of my problems.


Health News: Hand blisters dried out and the skin peeled off painlessly and in that pleasant way that it feels good to pick at a scab and find new skin underneath. Acne acting up; considered attempting to ignore it completely and let nature take its course, but did not accept this plan as feasible.


Sports News: Have maintained a consecutive masturbation schedule of 3 times a day for the past four weeks with no averse affects; making a run for the Hall of Fame.
Sports Injuries: In a related story, Sam Spalding has complained of wrist pains and Amy Taylor has learned that "combat claws" do not make for an enjoyable night life.


AND NOW FOR THE MOVIES!!!!

Star Wars - Saw it twice. The first time, I went out with my dork friends to see it and enjoyed being locked in a dark room with weapon-wielding muppets and said friends about as much as I would enjoy being raped anally with a pineapple. The first hour and a half of the movie I spent telling my friends to shut up for the sake of the tightly packed audience around us, and the last half an hour I was ooing and awing the brilliant special effects and battle scenes. Truly an epic half hour, which made it worth seeing the whole movie a second time with my mom the next day. We snuck in after having watched...

Insomnia - Saw it once. Beautiful, well-done thriller from the director of Memento, who proves again that he can really fuck with your temporal perceptions. Acting is superb, and Robin Williams is surprising, but since all the reviewers told me he gives a surprisingly eery performance, I wasn't surprised. A good movie, worth seeing if you enjoy probing the darker side of the human psyche.

Spider Man - Saw it once. Surprisingly faithful to the original comic book story (And yes, I know the original comic book story quite well... sigh), yet somehow more cheesy. I would say that comic book characters don't belong on the big screen because heroes in spandex performing miraculous feats are best left to ink panels and the imagination, but then I would be refuted by X-Men, which was an awesome movie I've seen again and again. I think perhaps if they had followed the Xample (hahaha) set by the X-Men, and lost the cheesy costumes for the sake of more reasonable, black leather outfits (or something cool, like a naked spider man.... would you fight a nude warrior who has a "tingly spider sense"?), it might have suited me better. Nonetheless, a fun entertaining movie that can be enjoyable if you aren't looking for value for your eight bucks. If you are looking for value, rent a couple of Kurosawa movies or buy a used book.

Star Wars - Yes, I reviewed it once already, but I'm bored. Anyway, let me just say in regard to the last half an hour of that movie, which I see as the only real part of that movie, that it kicked ass, especially Yoda's fight scene. Yes, obviously that fight was heavy handed and inserted into the movie only for the sake of crowd appeal and "appeasing the vulgar masses" (not an actual quote, merely a highbrow phrase worthy of quote marks), but nonetheless, speaking as an advocate for indulgence (which I'm not, but I could be if I wanted), I honestly believe that Lucas could make a shit load of cash by making an hour and a half long movie of Yoda doing kung fu fights. I would buy it.

The Blob - Saw it the other night... twice in the same day actually, but only finished it the second time. This 1990 (89?) remake of a 1956 cult classic is a true delight for horror fans. With all the original "horror tricks" of movies from the late eighties, the Blob pulls out all the stops to terrify an audience accustomed to children not being killed, the hero being the nice boy whom the girl is of course attracted to, and small furry animals not being butchered. With special affects that are, for the most part, superb for the era, the Blob is no longer frightening, but still fun to watch and a little sickening.

The Howling - Saw it the same day as the blob, approximately 1.08 times. Truly a modern classic of horror films. The Howling has all the matter-of-factness and stunning visual werewolf effects that make An American Werewolf In London the utter masterpiece of werewolf films. The Howling only loses to American Werewolf because of a slight degree of corniness in the plot (c'mon, a resort inhabited by werewolves?) and a lack of any sort of dryness in its telling. Still, an awesome werewolf movie if only for the one scene when Eddie Quint, in werewolf form, grabs his file out of Terry's hand in the office. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't, then you're missing an utterly masterful scene of terror.

An American Werewolf In London - Now there's a movie I need to see again soon. The Masterpiece of werewolf films, An American Werewolf In London features a killer soundtrack, fine acting, a great plot, *amazing* special effects, and really good scare scenes. There is no real corniness involved, only a sort of dry telling of the story that makes what would be corny seem so matter of fact and intended that you can't really laugh at the movie so much as laugh with it. This is a horror movie that says to the audience "You're not silly for watching this movie, we're silly for making it." Don't get me wrong, it's not a comedy in the least. Just well done so that the absurdities of horror are clearly seen in the spectrum of reality. It's a movie for all audiences, and a must see. But don't see the sequel.

Alright, I've run out of movie juice for now.

I remember one time I was really depressed and bored while doing homework in the coffee shop, so I wrote a note and set it up on the edge of the table next to where I was resting my head in a very dejected manner. It said: "Please ignore all requests to 'end the pain.' Thank you." No one ever asked about it, because no one ever came by to see why I was resting my head on the table in a very dejected manner. Then, some months later, I was talking to a friend and they said I always seemed tired, and since this was during one of my depressed periods, I decided that I must look really tired when I'm depressed. So I figured out that it's not because people don't care, it's just that they didn't know I was depressed but rather thought that I was really tired and decided to leave me alone. But then I mentioned this to someone else, and they said that I was wrong, and really they just didn't care. But then I mentioned that to someone else, and they said that the other person was joking and that they did care. So then I concluded that there are two possibilities: either all of my friends do care and some of them are jokers and others are not, the jokers being insensitive and cruel for their own amusement, OR half of my friends care and the other half do not care and only seek my company because it pleases them. I prefer the latter because it means that all of my friends are honest and that I have something to offer. Of course, I'm mostly full of shit, and I'm tired now. I'm going to finish writing this letter to Cecily and then go to sleep.

Friday, June 07, 2002

Ahhh. Special thanks to Bridget Guildner, the rockingest, bitchingest thang out there, because she led me here and set this stuff up for me. I've never had my own website-thing, and while this does nothing to cure the lonliness I suffer from in my day to day life, it does allow me to pretend to be talking to something that is not actually a wall.

If anyone is wondering, I call it the Seventh Circle because there are nine circles to Hell, but seven is just a better number all around.

I had a crazy dream last night. I was in bed with a twelve year old kid, whom I know pretty well in real life, and we cuddled a lot and sort of made out. Really disturbing.

Realized earlier today that the wound on my wrist that I got from stacking 20-foot pieces of lumber looks like I tried to cut myself and end it all. Considering possible future uses: sympathy sex?

Weather in Seattle: Raining all day until 4pm, then sunny but still only about 50-60 degress.

Music news: I've somehow developed the ability to understand what hip hop artists are saying (most of the time).

Health news: I'm pretty sure that whatever I have, it's not herpes. Diabetes is OK, but I should quit working at Starbucks if I want to survive.

Fencing news: I've regained whatever skill I lost after a year of bad fencing at St. John's, and am very nearly an ass kicker.

Obituaries: I canceled my subscription to Time Magazine today. They asked me why, and I narrowed it down to two of the listed options: I chose "Inability to afford subscription" over "Dislike of Magazine's content" as my motive for canceling because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Other news: Have not formalized any format (pun intended) for my website, but am enjoying myself nonetheless. Striving and failing to avoid contracted, disembodied sentences when writing for no particular audience.